Parasocial, But Make It Passionate: Inside the Rise of the Healthy Stan

Stan culture is defined by fans’ devotion to supporting their favourite creatives. From lining up at 4am to be in the audience for a morning show appearance to curating streaming playlists to raise chart positions, stans do whatever it takes to show their love. However, that devotion can lead to the formation of parasocial relationships with artists, which can have various outcomes. 

Coined by Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl in 1956, parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships that individuals develop with people they encounter in mass media, of whom they don’t actually know on a personal level. This relationship is reinforced through interactions, whether on social media or in person, making them feel as if they have developed a real relationship with the celebrity. Thus, they invest time, energy, interest, and often money to support the relationship even though the opposite party doesn’t know they exist. 

This can frequently be seen in entertainment spaces, especially music. It can take many forms, including, but not limited to:

• Keeping up with the artist on all social media and missing them if they haven’t been active for a while.
• Learning personal details about an artist through articles, interviews, livestreams, etc. 
• Emotional involvement, such as feeling proud when they succeed, angry when they receive backlash, or wanting to cheer them up when they’re upset. 

Essentially, if you’ve thought about how you and your favourite artists would have been friends if you met under normal circumstances, you likely have a parasocial relationship with them.

While this is not inherently negative, it becomes dangerous when taken too far. Parasocial relationships with artists can be used as ammo in fan wars or to invalidate constructive criticism. In other instances, it can be used as an excuse for obsessive behaviours, including stalking or losing touch with reality, such as seeking out an artist’s hotel location when they arrive in a city or convincing oneself that they have an attraction towards them based on a concert interaction. This sets a dangerous precedent that not only threatens artists’ safety but can cause fans severe mental distress or disrupt their normal lives. 

In recent years, there has been a surge in emphasizing the importance of humanizing artists and de-normalising toxic behaviour within stan culture. Not only are people encouraging others to respect boundaries and be considerate of their actions, but they are also noting that constructive criticism typically comes from a place of love and admiration for the artist, as they simply want to see them do better and succeed. 

There are benefits to being a healthy stan, many of which people might not realize. First, it’s exciting to build community through the shared love of an artist. I met some of the closest people in my life through finding each other on ‘Stan Twitter’ and losing our minds over new releases or comebacks. Many fans band together to host streaming parties, create fan projects, organise activations before shows, and so much more. This encourages global connections where friendships transcend national borders. Many fans even develop transferable skills such as event organising and social listening that may come in handy in the workplace. Also, in a world where AI has touched almost every corner, stans supporting authentic art and their creators help encourage the fight in protecting artists and defending their works. 

Another massive turning point towards healthier stan culture is the understanding that parasocial relationships do not have to be high maintenance. There’s an increased awareness that validity as a fan is not rooted in the level of consumption a person engages in with an artist. Also known as ‘deinfluencing’, people in fandom spaces have reminded others that supporting an artist in whatever capacity they can is more than enough. No prerequisites needed!

At the end of the day, there is no clear-cut recipe for the perfect fangirl, but the universal love held for our favourite performers can often be what pushes an artist to continue pursuing their dreams. The faithfulness of healthy stans can be a reflection of the deep-rooted empathy they have for others, which is a beautiful quality to have, so long as it doesn’t cross into concerning patterns. As you continue in your fangirl journeys, know that you aren’t alone! When passion and boundaries are at the forefront, we think it’s okay to get a little parasocial.